We live in a society that promotes speciality. This is mostly seen in how we identify ourselves. The fact is that your identity has evolved over the years.

Ask the questions about who you are.

Who Are You?
Humans are Tribal

Trade Authenticity for Approval

When we build in the “fitting in” culture, we give away a part of your authenticity that makes you unique.
A 2 year old’s favorite question is “Why?” When you are in a state of awe, your curiosity is awakened. However, when you have traded your authenticity for approval, and have stopped asking questions in an attempt to “fix” yourself. Your identity will also have “fixed” ideas that ultimately become what your culture and company are all about.

Ask, “What do I believe?”
Did you choose that belief?

If you didn’t choose it - it is not yours. You have to have courage to be curious. Courage to confront the paradigms that you have been holding on to. When you do this, you will find yourself questioning your identity and how you do things. Only when you do this will you have access to innovation and creativity.
The Neuroscience of curiosity is why people like Trivia Games, and why you are attracted to your favorite food when you are bored. Your mind is curious for meaning.

What we call our identity is a combo of genuine traits and coping mechanisms.

Each of our temperaments is a reciprocal response to family, community, culture and threat that are developed in us as children. Your coping mechanisms can block the way you are able to serve others.
The percentage of Americans identifying themselves as lonely has doubled from 20 to 40% since 1980’s
Everyone is trying to feel better, however the fact is that people are lonely. The connections on social media are pseudo relationships. People are looking for a deep connection.

We are Bio-psycho-social beings this is why the loneliness epidemic is no longer a personal issue it’s a public health crisis.

Loneliness elevates the risk of illness and premature death. Increasing mortality from cancer and other diseases. It is worse than 15 cigarettes a day. We are created as bio-psychological beings with a need to connect to others.

Isolation impares genetic functioning, inhibits the immune system, promotes inflammation, stress response, heart disease and stroke. All coming from being lonely.
Creating a culture of belonging is actually a public service because you are taking people out of loneliness.

When we are required to “fit in” we get the message that we must disenfranchise parts of ourselves in order to be accepted. Many people struggle with the feeling that they are not quite good enough.

However, when we are part of a mutually supportive, purpose driven community we feel free to bring forward the skills, talents and characteristics we may have previously hidden. Feeling connected to a larger community we feel a bond to it and our part in fulfilling its purpose and mission.

Neurologically, Identity is an addiction. For example, the most important factor in life is staying alive. Some people’s identity is more important than their own life.

We get sustenance from knowing we are part of growing this community. Hence our bond grows.

The difference between a Fixed Mindset vs. Growth Mindset
If you don’t have curiosity, you have a fixed mindset.
Are you curious about what you already know?

We stop being curious about the things we think we know.
Embrace curiosity above anything you have ever done before.
To have a healthy conflict you have to give up being right. Conflict is an opportunity for growth and development.
Dov shares an example of an office conflict and how curiosity can bring a solution that values the other person.

Healthy Conflict exercise:
> Conflict is a lack of, or suppression of curiosity.

> Loneliness is Epidemic, we are tribal, we want to belong.
> We want to create an environment that allows people to show all of themselves.

>Trade Authenticity for Approval - Result is extremist groups
Healthy Conflict exercise:

> Real Growth Mindset allows you to become a 2 year old with yourself to become curious enough to ask “Why?”
Question everything, especially yourself.

> If you didn’t choose the belief - it is not yours
Curiosity requires Courage

> Cognitive bias
Seeing something the way you want to see it, rather than the way it actually is / looking for evidence of what you believe to be true.